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So this is going to be a new adventure for me…. Blogs. Let’s see how long I stick with it. I always have a lot on my mind and look at the world differently… so this could get interesting. Life gets complex and people only make it worse. So, let’s keep this simple. I want to make a name for myself.. be an inspiration to others and be someone to look up to. I’m going to just say what I feel and apply it to life the best I can.

If you’ve taken the time to read these late night thoughts, hopefully you will take the time to follow along. 
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Don’t say goodbye

If you give someone the option to hold on tighter or walk away… and then they walk… well that just leaves you with this big whole of they never really cared. Feelings are such a weird and uncertain topic.

Sometimes you feel things you just don’t understand… what if emotions are so deep that you can’t deny them… but the other person just isn’t the same… walking away from those kinds of emotions are scarring. But you can’t hold onto someone who isn’t in it… or in it for all the wrong reasons.

I can’t deny…

he’s got everything I need in my life… that if we walk away I won’t be alright… but I can’t force this either… you can’t put energy into something and be the only one… a year is a long time to “try”.. a long time to keep hoping it will amount to more… with no input from the other person… and they live so close… at this point it’s time to let this bird fly.

Then… there’s someone you’ve known years… but time was never right… locations were never right… until they are.. I don’t want to say good bye.. best friends… that became good friends.. that became strangers… then good friends again.. is there more to that story… *shrugs shoulders* who knows.. distance is too far to really know.. our lives are too different to even try… at least for the moment.

I don’t know how to feel most days… because when I really feel something it’s a one way street… how can you expect to move on feelings when you’re so used to them not being the same.. let downs only lead to not even trying. I don’t want fights and lame excuses.

I want real.

I want fire.

I want growth.

I want accomplishments.

I want teamwork.

I want love.

Real love… doesn’t change. Real love isn’t measured by money or things.

(Inspired by my life and Don’t Say Goodbye By Aaron Carter)

E.

As I ponder on this last letter. I have came across many words… actually Élégant just came to mind. 

Elude. 

Exact. 

E. Hasn’t been an easy one… that one was unintentional 😂

EP and ET both start with E.

Estate and erase. 

Egg, Egypt, enrage 

Eventually, eternity.

Envy 

Equal

Emotions…. they are hard to harness and hard to express… the world is so consumed with making you feel like emotions are weakness. But they are actually very much the opposite… emotions are strength! They can be a very powerful thing. Love can build walls or break them.. rage can change the world as you know it… fear can make you never break out of your shell.. sadness can make you feel like the world is crushing in on your soul.. happiness can make your soul fly.. make all the problems in the world disappear.. the soul goes through so many emotions on a daily basis, we may not even recognize them all.  Sometimes in order to deal with a problem or a hurt we suppress our emotions.. making the world believe we are invulnerable.. always happy… or just plain mean… we cover up or mask ourselves all the time to throw off this image of streangth. No diamond ever got strong without being pressured. Every great warrior at some point felt weak and broken.. growth is all part of this journey.. this adventure. 

E. 

Empty. 

Enjoy. 

Empire. 

Again I ask… what is love… is it Loyalty without boundaries… is it being Optimistic when the whole world tells you to be negative.. is it having Value in the smallest of things? Is it easy? Enjoyable? An empire? Eradicating? Emotional? Is it the beginning and the end? 

This letter of E is only the mere beginning.. for at the end of love you find the beginning. When your heart is broken the most you will find healing. This ride is all about growth.. engaging all the things you thought you couldn’t. Don’t let fear keep you from eternity. Don’t let hurt keep you from encountering the best of the best. 

Encounter. 

Engage.

Exhaustion… when the souls feels like life is coming at it too hard.. or sleep creeps into your eyes and mind.. don’t forget to dream… open your mind to your subconscious.. to the celestial and spirit realm.. life is too short to block out your dreams. Dream big! Dream the impossible!

So without further adieu, I say unto you…. En garde!!!! 

V.alue

Value can change a lot on how you see things… the more value you put into something will increase your respect or care of it. If you pay a lot for a pair of shoes out of your hard earned money you aren’t going to go run through mud with them. On the other hand, if you get a hand-me-down wore out shirt you aren’t going to be careful painting the house in it, even if at one time someone paid a lot for it.  What do you value? Do you only value the material things that cost a pretty penny? 

val·ue

ˈvalyo͞o/Submit 

noun

1. the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of something.

“your support is of great value”

synonyms: worth, usefulness, advantage, benefit, gain, profit, good, help, merit, helpfulness, avail; More

2. A person’s principles or standards of behavior; one’s judgment of what is important in life.

“they internalize their parents’ rules and values”

synonyms: principles, ethics, moral code, morals, standards, code of behavior

“society’s values are passed on to us as children”

verb

1. estimate the monetary worth of (something).

“his estate was valued at $45,000”

synonyms: evaluate, assess, estimate, appraise, price, put/set a price on

“his estate was valued at $345,000”

2. consider (someone or something) to be important or beneficial; have a high opinion of.

“she had come to value her privacy and independence”

synonyms: think highly of, have a high opinion of, hold in high regard, rate highly, esteem, set (great) store by, put stock in, appreciate, respect; More

I have seen many children and teens in today’s society who have lost their sense of value. They don’t respect their parents who work hard to provide for them.. they don’t understand how expensive things really are and just expect to get them. 

What is your value? How do you see yourself? Do you allow people to use you? Seeing yourself with high value does not mean being coincided.. it doesn’t mean putting others down who are less fortunate. It really is just having respect for yourself. Knowing what you deserve and setting goals to get them.. you are gold! Don’t ever let anyone make you feel like fools gold! 

Life has a funny way of showing you where your energy should go. Sometimes the things and people you held a lot of value and confidence in don’t turn around and show you the same. Value depreciates as we know in cars and material things. Value of a person should only deepen and grow. But! This isn’t a perfect world is it? 

Sometimes the lack of value you are shown can make you grow. It can kick you into gear so that you value yourself! If you can’t appreciate your own value no one else can, because you won’t know what you are worth. This crazy world puts value into a lot of petty and insignificant things. YOU are not insignificant! No matter how you feel. 

I’m sure when a diamond is being formed out of coal it feels pretty insignificant(if it could feel that is 😂).. that it could just be burned for fuel at any moment… but you know what.. one day.. someone will take the time to dig.. and carefully remove this beautifully pressed and aged stone. Holding it up to appreciate just how it shines and reflects all the colors of light. 

Value isn’t always about paying for things.. sometimes it’s about waiting. How can you ever truly value anything if you just wake up and it’s all there. You will lose value and gain expectation. Be like the diamond… no matter how much you are pressured and kept in the dark continue to grow… become amazing… because one day.. someone will find you and take you where the world can see all that hard work. 

YOU ARE VALUABE! 

O.ptimism

Optimism is an opinion. To be optimistic is to look at the world in a positive manner. But what is positive. Another opinion? The glass is half full or half empty? Is empty bad? Is it good to be full? Because when the glass is empty your belly is full.

op·ti·mism

ˈäptəˌmizəm/Submit

noun

1. hopefulness and confidence about the future or the successful outcome of something.

“the talks had been amicable, and there were grounds for optimism”

synonyms: hopefulness, hope, confidence, buoyancy, cheer, cheerfulness, good cheer, sanguineness, positiveness, positive attitude

“I wish I had your optimism”

2.  PHILOSOPHY

the doctrine, especially as set forth by Leibniz, that this world is the best of all possible worlds.

Is it a bad day? Or an off day. And if it’s off, is it really on track? It’s all about the path. Even if you don’t know what it is it’s all about keeping 1 foot in front of the other and continuing to go forward.

Some people say if you’re too optimistic you’re a contradiction or hypocrite. Or you try and push out the world around you, you don’t see the bad you just focus on what you think you see. But isn’t a matter of focusing on the positive creating your future?

So today. Practice being optimistic. You hit every single red light but that just saved you from a conversation you didn’t want to have anyways. Your favorite restaurant is closed, but you’re on a new diet right? You didn’t need fried food anyways, go home and fix you something really good. You’re tired? No you just worked really good all day, and now.. you’re going to sleep and you’re going to dream you’re going to push yourself into a different reality. You don’t dream… You’re going to relax your body until you wake up the next day feeling refreshed and ready to do it all over again.

That relationship you really want… It’s going super slow. He’s just not making the moves you want… Maybe you think nothing is going to happen, maybe you think that flame really isn’t lit. Or maybe he’s just as scared as you are… Maybe he’s wanting to know that it’s real, maybe he’s timid, maybe he’s been hurt just like you.

That brings us back to what is love? Is it loyalty? Is it optimism?

Maybe all the superheroes are trying to teach us is to look inside for a real superpower. Teaching us that all of our weaknesses… use them.. look at them differently.. Turn them into a weapon, use them to push out all of the negativity around you.

So, being optimistic… it is a choice.

L.oyalty 

Loyalty is defined as: 

Loy•al•ty

noun

the quality of being loyal to someone or something.

  • a strong feeling of support or allegiance

synonyms: allegiance, faithfulness, obedience, adherence, homage, devotion; More

It has taken me some time to ponder the idea of loyalty to really know what to write. I’m still at a loss for words… loyalty should be easy to write about. It’s something that all of us crave. 

Being loyal doesn’t just mean showing up and being there for someone, it’s the intention of your heart. Don’t be loyal just because you feel you “should”, because “it’s your place” to be. Be loyal because everything balances on it. 

Have you ever had a dog or child that you thought was loyal to only you.. but as soon as the neighbor comes in.. poof! There goes Fido. 

Loyalty takes time. Loyalty takes persistance. You can’t show up once or twice and “put in your time” and expect loyalty to flood your way. You have to have the mind and heart that pushes you to be different.. to be there when those who need you most. Even to just be there on great days to let them know you’re thinking about them. 

Loyalty is also doing the right thing when no one is looking. It’s easy to be loyal to your relationship or spouse when they are sitting right next to you, but what about when you are on that long trip for work or when things at home just aren’t they way they used to be. Loyaty is a choice. 

Rushed seasons

So I was listening to the radio and I heard the host talk about a body they had found in a river recently. He was giving an update.. this is what I got: 

The body that was found was identified. It was a Dracula with a smiling face.

“..well, that’s what you get when you start decorating for Halloween in August!…” 

I work retail, so, I know holidays are great for business.. but can we please wait until the season.. it’s still summer! Pools are open. 

Everyone now days are always rushing. Fast food is convient. Phones are knowledge at your finger tips, no need to take out a book and look for the answer… just key it in.. Bam! Answers! 

But back to the seasons… here is an acceptable breakdown of decorating.. (just a thought🤔😉) 

  • September: Labor Day/fall! Bring on the autumn leaves, corn stalks, even pumpkins. 
  • October: month of mischief! (Stage 2 of fall decorating…HALLOWEEN!) 
  • November: Thanksgiving. (Back to stage one) 
  • December(acceptable to start on the week of thanksgiving): Christmas!
  • January(1st half)- New Years
  • January(2nd half)-February: valentines. 
  • March: St Patrick’s. 
  • April: Easter/April fools (does this even count?? Lol) Actually, this coming year Easter is on the 1st. (So, I guess God had the best April fools.. so you killed my son? Ha! April fools!) 
  • May: Mother’s Day/Memorial Day 
  • June: Fathers Day
  • late June/July:Independence day 
  • August: ahhh august…. Perseid meteor shower, solar eclipse(this year anyways) the last real month of summer. Actual holidays? Well the 13th was left handers day (shout out to my sister!). And the 6th was friends/sisters day. The 12th was national youth and the 26th is national dog day 🐶. A lot of appreciation but, no real holiday. Relax and enjoy/appreciate. 

Well that list started as a decorating list then turned into a lot more holidays.. moral of it all… stop trying to rush everything… enjoy the moments leading up to things. 

#holidays #TuesdayThoughts

What is L.O.V.E.? 

What is love… is it the feeling you get when your dog greets you with a wagging tail after a hard day? Is it emotion? Is it an idea? Is it the moment when a room full of people fade away because you’re with someone special and all you can see is them? Is it an opinion?

“Love is patient, Love is kind, Love never ends”

4.Charity(love) sufferers long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth(put forward) not itself, is not puffed up, 5. Doth not behave itself unseemly, seekers not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil(not ready to suspect evil);

I Corinthians 13:4-5

Is it doing the right thing when no one’s looking.

How do you love.. is it something you learn? Something that just happens? Something that is is imprinted?

We may never really know.. until we find someone who loves the same as you.

It’s so hard to find love among all the lust in the world.. it’s hard to find someone whose real and will be true unconditionally.. everyone is so selfish nowadays that love is forgotten.. love so much more than a word.. or an emotion.

Love is a relationship.. it doesn’t have to be forced, it just happens. It’s loyalty.. it’s laughter.